Micro-Actions to Manifest Big Change

Valerie Friedlander 0:00
Hello, my friends, and welcome to another episode of unlimited. Today, we are talking about micro actions to manifest big change. There is so much going on in the world, and it is really easy for people who are passionate about making a difference to feel overwhelmed. Where do you even start? And it’s important when we can recognize that starting somewhere is better than starting nowhere, and there is no perfect way to take action, and so many of the issues in our world and in our lives are interconnected, so pulling on one thread impacts all the others, and yet, we are living in systems that are constantly pulling and draining our capacity, and it is really difficult because we want To maximize our energy. We want to make the biggest difference, biggest bang for the buck, as it were, because we only have so much capacity available to do the things, whether it is money, time, energy, mental, emotional, spiritual, whatever we’re talking about in terms of capacity, all of the above, we want to make sure that we are doing the most we can with what we have, and that can be overwhelming. I have talked about manifestation before, but I heard my friend Taina talking about this on an Instagram Live she did. And I was like, we we need to talk. I need to bring her on. This is so important. She was talking about this idea of micro actions and how to engage a micro action, and thinking about manifestation and making a difference. And I was like, All right, we need to talk about this. So that’s what this episode is all about. Taina is a feminist life coach and thought partner for burned out and busy millennials. She’s an elder millennial herself, a Jeopardy enthusiast and dog mom to doggy influencers in her spare time, and with the help of her community, she’s building a world where people don’t feel the need to live busy and burned out lives, laugh in the face of imposter syndrome and generally stick it to the man. You can find her ranting sometimes and raving, mostly on Instagram and in her email newsletter to her community. You can also find her on her new podcast with Becky mullencamp called Messy liberation, which I hope you’ll check out, because it’s awesome, and I’m sure you can see from her bio why we would get along. So I will have links in the show notes to all the things as a reminder this podcast is listener supported, and I’ve recently switched everything over from buy me a coffee to Kofi. So that’s k, O dash, F, I I’ll have a link to that in the show notes as well. Part of what I’m offering with Kofi is there’s a membership option where you can become a regular supporter of the podcast. You can also do a one time support contribution for regular supporters. I will have the three tips that I’m sending in my newsletter from all of my guests also available to listen to when you become a member of the podcast or an regular subscriber for the podcast through ko fi, so if that is something you’re interested in and you aren’t on my email list. One, I encourage you to join the email list, and two, become a supporter of the podcast. It really makes a huge difference, both in the production costs for the podcast, as well as my ability to continue with offering the things that I offer in an accessible way. So community support is key. So with all that said, I’m super excited to share this conversation with you, and now, without further ado, let’s get started. Hey there. I’m Valerie Friedlander, Certified Life business alignment coach, and this is unlimited. This podcast bridges the individual and the societal, scientific and spiritual, positive and negative, nerdy and no, there’s just a lot of nerdy. Come on board. And let’s unlock a light that’s as badass as you are. You. Music.

Welcome Taina, I’m so excited to have you on unlimited

Taina Brown 5:10
Thank you. I’m so excited to be here. Valerie, I’ve been looking forward to this for for a few weeks now. So yeah, excited!

Valerie Friedlander 5:17
Me too. This is a topic that I really love, and your take on it is just so cool. So as we dive in, let me ask you, what is a limit that you took for granted that you have since unlearned?

Taina Brown 5:34
So, I think the biggest thing that comes to mind for me is that feeling of being okay with the status quo, like when you’re just kind of going about the rat race your day to day, you’re so busy, you kind of take for granted the fact that this is your life. You don’t think twice about it. You don’t think twice about the things that you’re doing. And I remember the moment that I realized that there’s more to life than just being busy and like doing what people expect of you all the time. And to be fair, I will say, I’ve always kind of been the kind of person to challenge the status quo in a way, and that’s like the petty side of me. Like, if someone told me that I couldn’t do something, I’d be like, Well, why not? I’m gonna do it anyway. The rebelliousness, right, right, right, which can be healthy to a certain extent, but I didn’t have the sense for a long time about how to apply that sense of rebellion to what was considered normal life, or just like the expected trajectory of life for people, right? Like the expected trajectory is you graduate high school, you go to college, or you learn a trade, or you find someone, you fall in love, you get married, you have kids, you buy a house, all these like, quote, unquote, milestones that people just fall into the rhythm of. And so that’s kind of something that I took for granted for a really long time. And then when I realized, oh, it can actually be different. It was like, Whoa, once you start thinking that way, like you can’t stop thinking that way. You can’t stop thinking how things could be different, what actually are the possibilities, and not saying that those things are bad, but I think it’s important to interrogate if those things are aligned for you, because they could be good for some people, but not good for you, depending on your values, depending on the kind of lifestyle you really want to live, how creative you are, how much freedom you feel like you need in your day to day. Like, if you’re a super creative person, and you feel like you need just like, 100% freedom every day, like sitting at a desk for eight hours Monday through Friday is probably not the best place for you, right? So that was something that was just like, it was like going from black and white to color for me.

Valerie Friedlander 8:12
Yeah, I love that you said that, because that is the big part of my story. I followed it through to like and the timeline. Everything like, married in my 20s, kids in my 30s, had the house, all the things, and at that point it was like, Wait a second, something’s wrong. I don’t feel successful. I don’t feel like I made it. I feel overwhelmed and stressed out and like, what the hell just happened? Yeah. And so what I hear and what you’re saying is choice, yes, because I didn’t even think about it being a choice like it was like, of course, this is what I want. This is what everybody wants. This is the way you’re supposed to do it.

Taina Brown 8:48
Yeah, that sense of agency. Yeah, absolutely. And so you move from responding to life to actually choosing your life and making decisions that are going to help you build the kind of life that you choose to want or choose to live, as opposed to just responding to all these like external factors and all these external expectations. There’s such a sense of power in that that again, once you wake up to that, like you can’t be like, Oh, I’m just gonna go back to sleep about this. Because, yeah, like you can feel that way. It definitely feels that way sometimes, right? Like, sometimes there is a burden in agency that we feel sometimes

Valerie Friedlander 9:32
You want to go back into the matrix,

Speaker 1 9:36
Right, right. It’s like ignorance is bliss. Why did I ever wake up? It’s like waking up to the horrors of the world. And it’s like, Oh, I wish I could just forget how horrible things are sometimes, but to intentionally choose to want to go back to sleep or to ignore that stuff is is giving up your power. And once I had a taste of of that sense of agency, it was like. Like, Wait, you mean I can decide for myself. I don’t have to do what my parents said was the right thing to do, or what for me at the time, because I grew up in church, what my youth pastor said was the right thing to do, or what my friends think are the right thing to do. And again, not that any of those things are bad. They just weren’t for me. And so it’s about deciding for yourself, like, what is for you.

Valerie Friedlander 10:25
So that thing that you said about basically interrogating, like there were certain things that didn’t get questioned, there were other things that did get questioned, but then I question like, What got questioned and what didn’t get questioned? And that’s when, you know, you look at like, what am I just automatically assuming is versus what am I willing to question? Like, I’m willing to question my career, but am I willing to question that? It will be in a corporate office, right? I’m willing to question my love life, but am I willing to question whether I’m getting married or not with that? You know, I’m willing to question where I live, but am I willing to question if it’s just me in a house versus in a community, right? Like there’s so many things,

Taina Brown 11:11
yeah

Valerie Friedlander 11:11
and I think to go back to sleep not only means saying yes to your own oppression, but to being complicit in the impression of others.

Taina Brown 11:19
Absolutely, absolutely. That’s such a good point. I love how you frame that right there. And I think with the questioning part, we can go even deeper, right? We can say, you know, I’m willing to question my love life, but am I willing to question heteronormativity, right? I’m willing to question where I live, but am I willing to question class privilege and how wealth and power get distributed among people. I’m willing to question my career. But am I willing to question how some people are unable to advance in their career because of systemic racism or implicit bias? Right? And so the more awake you get right in quotation marks, right, the deeper these questions become, because the more you start to see things in a different way, the more you’re exposed to how things operate and how things function around you. And it really is like waking up outside of the matrix.

Valerie Friedlander 12:22
And it seems like I know one of the things that I’ve experienced with that experience is overwhelm. Oh my gosh. Now there are too many possibilities.

Taina Brown 12:32
Yeah.

Valerie Friedlander 12:33
There are too many options, and I don’t even know where to start, which can activate freeze response or a fight response. And so this is one of the things that you talked about when we were talking about manifestation. You know, especially if you’ve been fed the message that manifestation is how you think about things, right? Law of Attraction is based in, like, just the way you think and the way you feel about stuff. And you got to be positive and to go, well, well, I’m definitely not feeling positive right now. I’m feeling completely overwhelmed, right and so we have to question that and pull that apart, because it isn’t just about thinking about it, it’s about the actions that go along with that. And I talk about that in one of my episodes from a while back, how to manifest what you want, and you engage this at another level of processing about how our brains work, and you step out of that overwhelm space into those micro actions that can build into big change. So you’re like, oh my gosh, it all needs to change. There are too many problems. I don’t even know where to start, so just burn it all down to like, Well, okay, that’s not realistic. And that’s like, I can’t. So I would love for you to share a little bit about like, what do you do then?

Taina Brown 13:54
Yeah, well, let’s start with the actual word, manifesting. It’s a verb. So if we even just get down to like, the etymology of the word, it implies action. And we could argue that thinking is an action. But what we know about verbs from what we learned about grade school is there’s movement in actions. It’s not just the act of thinking. It’s like there has to be actual momentum that comes from that. There has to be movement that comes from that. And the thing that really helped me understand, or the several things that really helped me understand manifestation, because, listen, I’m a very pragmatic person. I’m a Capricorn sun, Virgo rising, Pisces moon. I have a lot of Earth in my chart, so I’m just like, I need to see the evidence, like, where’s the action? I’m not a super woo, woo kind of person. I am a spiritual person, and I do believe in energy, and I have my crystals and my tarot and oracle decks and all of that, but I like to marry that with a lot of practice. Dogmatism. And so when I first started hearing about manifestation, I was like, oh, that’s some Okey dokey stuff. I’m like, that’s for people who are, like, Good Vibes only, dude, you know? And I’m like, and that’s not me. I’ve seen too much of the world to ascribe to, you know, the the good vibes only crowd. But what really made a difference for me, and what really helped me understand manifestation was when I was going through some of my training as a coach, and the person that I was training under during a workshop, they talked about the reticular activating system. And the reticular activating system is a part in your brain that helps you sort information, and this is a part of your brain that tells you, oh, it’s light outside, it’s time to wake up. It’s dark outside, it’s time to go to bed. This is the part of your brain that, if you’re learning or you’re studying something, it helps you sort that information so you can absorb it. And the way that your reticular activating system works by helping you sort that information like you can actively use it to help control the kind of information you want it to sort. Because if you’ve ever heard of Adrian Marie brown an emergent strategy. She has a principle in emergent strategy called what you pay attention to grows and so the way your reticular activating system, it’s wrapped up in that principle, what you pay attention to grows. So if you’ve ever seen a garment or a pair of shoes or a vehicle, and you’re just like, I really love those shoes. They’re too expensive right now, but I’m going to save up money to buy them one day, because that’s that’s always my go to every time I like something, I’m like way out of my budget, I need to save up money for it. So and then all of a sudden, you start seeing those shoes everywhere. You see them on TV. You are out at a restaurant and you see somebody wearing those pair of shoes. You are at a festival, and three people have those shoes on. They keep popping up on the TV shows or on Instagram or social media or whatever. Sure the algorithm is listening to you. But also what you’ve done is by telling your brain these shoes are important to me, this information is important to me. Now, your reticular activating system has taken that information, and what it’s doing is it is filtering out all the other shoes that are not those shoes that you really want. So that way, when those shoes do pop up, it’s easier for you to notice them. So it’s not like all of a sudden the universe is conspiring to, like, help you see these shoes everywhere you go like you can attribute it to that, if you want Sure. But there’s actually some neuroscience happening there. It’s your brain helping you filter information so you can focus on the things that you have decided are important to you. So when you’re feeling overwhelmed, when you’re feeling like the problems of the world or even your own personal problems are just too big, too heavy, and you don’t know what to focus on. You don’t know what to do. You’re feeling stuck, you’re you’re trapped in that flight or fight or freeze or fall and response. What you can do is you can decide to take one small action. You can tell your brain, okay, all of that big stuff over there is too much for me right now. What I’m going to focus on right now is just this one really small thing that’s going to help you build a little bit of momentum. So for instance, let’s use a very practical example, right? Like, let’s say you have a mountain of debt, and you’re trying to get out of debt, and you’ve been ignoring it for so long, and you’re just like, You know what? I’m going to put in $1 every day into this one credit card that’s 365 extra dollars a year. Well, mathematically, that will add up, right? That will snowball. That’s going to help to bring your balance down, which is going to decrease the amount of interest that you have to pay on the balance. But what it’s also doing for your brain is now you’re going to be thinking, Oh, I am doing an extra dollar every day, but maybe one day you’re feeling great, and you’re just like, Oh, I just found five extra dollars in these jeans that I’m about to wash. So now I have $5 in cash. And because you’re you have trained your brain to think about building momentum towards decreasing that debt. Now you might be more inclined to say, well, since I found this $5 in cash, I’m going to do six extra dollars today instead of the five, right? So it’s about taking these little micro actions that once stacked up really helped to build momentum. And it’s really not about when you are feeling overwhelmed or when things feel too big. It’s really not about tackling those big things. Is it’s about what small action can you take today that’s going to slowly shift you away from that feeling of overwhelm, from that feeling of heaviness?

Valerie Friedlander 20:11
Yeah, I love that on so many levels, because taking it into that practical space of this matters to me. I mean, it’s basically reaffirming This is what matters. Which makes me think of what you said at the beginning of that, interrogating what you’re focused on, interrogating those things that you automatically do, because, why do they matter? You know, do they matter because I was told that they matter, or do they matter? Because they actually matter, and what about them matters? I almost think like, when you feel that sense of overwhelm, of like, I need to take action, to really hone in on what that needs to be, is to say, like, what matters here, you know that relief that I’ll have from getting rid of the debt, that’s what matters. So, oh, I’m going to think about like, oh, I have this money. Instead of like, oh, I can just spend it. I’m looking for that relief of not carrying more on my back so I can lighten that burden that I hold.

Taina Brown 21:14
Yeah.

Valerie Friedlander 21:15
So that makes sense. I also want to note that I’m also a Virgo rising. So everything you said about, you know, I used to say that I’m a little bit of Woo and a lot of science, because I’m very much the energy, and yet, give me what I can do with that, like we need action steps, because the action steps also build that momentum so that you’re then reaffirming This is what matters. This is what matters. But so I would imagine this is also like what feeds into some of the status quo things is because we’re constantly being fed. This is what matters. This is what matters. And we don’t even think, yeah, to question it. So it’s not like your reticulating activating system isn’t doing anything until you go, Hey, do it. It’s being able to choose how you’re feeding it.

Taina Brown 22:04
Yes, absolutely, yeah. So, and it takes us back to that whole conversation about agency and choice, right? Like you can think of your reticular activating system as the algorithm of your brain, right? And so one thing that I like to tell my some of my clients sometimes when they’re just like, Yeah, I was just on social media Doom strolling, and it’s just so overwhelming. And it’s like, okay, I understand that, but we also train the algorithm on what kind of content and information to give us. And this is funny, because, like, sometimes I’ll see influencers who will post comments from trolls, and they’re just like, hey, thanks for boosting my reach, right? And don’t you know that you commenting, whether you’re trolling or not on my stuff, is just going to keep giving you my stuff because you’re engaging with it. And so when you choose to, as opposed to, just like, let the algorithm of your brain just respond to all these external things, and you’re just like, No, I’m going to choose today, right? You can just start today. This doesn’t have to be a long term project either. Like this isn’t this big, magical thing that you need to deconstruct today. You can decide for yourself today, I’m going to choose to focus on abundance rather than scarcity. And you take one small action. You say, the way that I’m going to do that is I’m going to Google abundance, right? Or I’m going to search for an abundance coach on Instagram or on Tiktok. I’m a millennial, so I’m like, always on Instagram. I don’t even understand Tiktok.

Valerie Friedlander 23:35
I keep trying. I’m like, I know how to do a real so I just post that to Tiktok, right?

Taina Brown 23:40
It’s the same thing, right? Completely different algorithm. But, yeah, you can just decide, I’m just going to do this one small thing. I’m going to Google this, or I’m going to search for this on social media, or, you know, I’m going to buy a book on abundance, or go to my library and was your section on wealth or finances or whatever. And those small steps, that little thing right there, you triggered your reticular activating system. The work is done at that point. Now, all you have to do from that moment on is pay attention when your reticular activating system starts feeding you things about abundance, because what’s going to happen is when you do that, it’s not like all the things about scarcity in your life automatically go away. They’re still there.

Valerie Friedlander 24:29
Your debt doesn’t suddenly disappear.

Taina Brown 24:31
Exactly. Now you just have to choose what you pay attention to. So you read that book, you check out that book from the library, you do that search on social media or on Google. Now you’re going to start seeing people talking about abundance online, in person, at the bookstore. Now you just pay attention to those things, and as you pay attention to those things, then what you do is you figure out what of those things are most value. Values aligned for you, because not everything is going to be super aligned with your values, right? Just because you are opening up yourself to the idea of abundance doesn’t mean that every single thing about abundance out there is going to be a good fit for you. So now you have to do the work of paying attention and figuring out, okay, out of these five things that I’ve noticed this past week, which one is the most helpful for me based on my situation, my values and the kind of future I see for myself. And then you can narrow in the focus even more, and then that starts to build more momentum. The more you get narrow in, narrowed in on your focus, the more momentum you begin to see.

Valerie Friedlander 25:44
Yeah, and it helps direct those pieces of action. And there’s so many words that get thrown around in so many ways, like abundance. I appreciate that you tie in that what angle we’re looking at abundance. Are we looking at individual abundance? Are we looking at collective abundance?

Taina Brown 26:02
Yeah. Absolutely.

Valerie Friedlander 26:03
So, I’m looking for abundance. I’m seeking abundance. And so the information that I’m taking in, is this rooted in individual abundance, or is this rooted in collective abundance? Are we talking energetic abundance in terms of, like, time abundance? Are we talking money abundance? Are we talking about like,

Taina Brown 26:19
Relationships?

Valerie Friedlander 26:20
Yeah, exactly. And like, what does that feel like to start exploring, if I felt abundant, what would that look like? And we talked a little bit about the idea of taking conscious action rooted in what our values are, helps harness our personal power, because especially if we’re willing to continue to interrogate and check in, it’s not just like, okay, you know, it’s not like a roller coaster. I got on the car and it’s just gonna go I got on the abundance roller coaster. So hold on tight.

Taina Brown 26:55
Yeah, yeah.

Valerie Friedlander 26:56
It’s more like we were climbing a mountain or we’re hiking a trail or whatever. But so each step matters.

Taina Brown 27:04
yeah

Valerie Friedlander 27:04
And so each step is an opportunity to harness our personal power.

Taina Brown 27:10
Yes!

Valerie Friedlander 27:11
You know, each step is a place to think, Okay, where am I putting my foot? What does that look like? How am I putting my foot there? And I wonder what counts as a micro action, you know? And I think you kind of addressed that, but I I’m wondering about exploring that a little bit further, because I also feel like I know that I get caught up, especially when I’m feeling in the overwhelm space like the pendulum has swung. I was like, over here, and now I’m like, over here, and what I tend to fixate on is fear of the wrong thing,

Taina Brown 27:43
hmm.

Valerie Friedlander 27:44
It is framed in my head as I want to take the right action.

Taina Brown 27:48
Yeah.

Valerie Friedlander 27:48
You know the the one that puts me on the roller coaster I want to take the action that puts me on the roller coaster that just goes,

Taina Brown 27:54
Yeah.

Valerie Friedlander 27:54
And that, knowing that there isn’t one of those really, but I want there to be. I have been conditioned to think that there is so that overwhelm space sets me in the mind of I want to take the right action. And I think the idea of micro actions makes it smaller, but they all feel like macro actions in that space.

Taina Brown 28:18
Yeah, they do. They do. When you are in a place of overwhelm or burnout, everything feels big. Everything feels like a big decision. And I was literally just telling a client today, because she’s waiting to hear back about this job, and they’ve kind of been stringing her along for a little bit. And they were like, you’ll hear by the end of June. And we were talking, we’re like, today’s literally the end of June. This is totally gonna date this podcast, but today’s literally the end of June because Monday is July and today is Friday. So I was like, Well, what are your plans this weekend? And she was like, Well, I’m gonna work on some other job applications, just in case this one doesn’t come through, even though it feels like it will. And I was like, well, would it be a better idea to not work on those job applications? Because if you don’t hear from them today, and you have to wait until Monday to either hear from them or follow up and working on job stuff all weekend like that’s just going to exacerbate that feeling of frustration. And she was like, Yeah, you’re right. And I was like, okay, so what micro action can you take this weekend to just move you from a place of frustration into a place of joy and rest and pleasure? And she started listing these things. And I was like, You know what sometimes a micro action is a nap.

Valerie Friedlander 29:42
I love that you said that because so often I think that is the micro action that I need when I’m in that space.

Taina Brown 29:48
Yeah, like when you’re so overwhelmed and, like, frustrated and burnt out, sometimes you just need to sit your ass down and take a nap, right? And so my point with that is the way that I define a micro action, and I think the best way to define a micro action is, what is the action that I can take today that is going to move me away from this feeling that I don’t want or this space that I don’t want to be in, but isn’t going to require extra labor from me, or too much extra labor from me. So at that point, you really have to understand where your energy is. How much energy do I actually have to take action right now? Because if your battery is at like 10% that means you cannot take a micro action that’s going to require 12% of you because you don’t have it in you. If your battery’s at 10% a micro action is something that’s going to require, I would say no more than 5% of you, because then that still leaves you with 5% in your battery for unexpected things that life is going to throw at you, for your family, for your relationships, for eating dinner, for taking a shower, for all these little things that we still have to do every day. So that’s that’s how I like to define a micro action. What is the best action that I can take right now that isn’t going to exacerbate my capacity.

Valerie Friedlander 31:21
I love that. That makes so much sense. And you know, since we were speaking of abundance, I think that reminder also that if we’re trying to build abundance, taking a nap is an action that is an abundant action. So we have so many stories in our society about, oh, that’s lazy. Oh, you’re not trying hard enough. No, that’s actually an abundant action.

Taina Brown 31:45
Yeah. It’s restorative.

Valerie Friedlander 31:47
Yeah. And that reminds me of that juxtaposition of, you know, work hard, play hard, and if you are not doing doings,

Taina Brown 31:57
Yeah.

Valerie Friedlander 31:58
That those are the things that are important when we’re thinking about like, what we’re doing, and it’s like, no, actually, we need the restorative part too. So it’s a good reminder that a restorative practice is also a micro action.

Taina Brown 32:13
Yeah, because it’s it’s stacking up that energy, right? It’s stacking up that momentum to just fill you up, as opposed to depleting you, because so much of the world that we live in is extractive, and so it depletes us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. And so anything that’s restorative is going to help you build momentum, because it’s the opposite of that, that cycle of extraction.

Valerie Friedlander 32:40
Thank you for that reminder. So with that in mind, one of my wrap up questions is, what does it mean to you to be unlimited? And I know this conversation has definitely gives me that feel, and I would love to know your answer to that question.

Taina Brown 33:03
Yeah, I think the best way that I can describe feeling unlimited and living Unlimited is remaining curious about things. When I think about curiosity, I think about children and usually when we talk about children, we talk about them as having unlimited potential, unlimited creativity, unlimited possibilities. And somewhere along the way, as we grow up and we start to fit ourselves into these boxes of what it means to be a human being, we lose that. And curiosity is really the cornerstone of creativity, of potential, of possibility. Like you cannot explore possibilities without remaining curious. You just cannot. And if you are having trouble tapping into your curiosity, you need to find a way to get back there. Spend some time with children. I’m sure someone in your family has kids, or some friends have children. Go to a museum, go to an art show, do an exercise for the sake of doing it, not for doing it right, not for having a specific expectation or outcome in mind, like, sometimes I will doodle, I’m not an I’m not an artist. Like, I can’t draw to save my life. But sometimes I will doodle just for the sake of doodling, right, just to, like, express some type of creativity, just to tap into that curiosity. And I am still and always surprised at how that sense of exploration helps me generate ideas. Helps me generate solutions to problems that I’m having, ideas for my business, ideas that help my friends. Zero my family, right? And it’s because I’ve able to slow down and just kind of stretch that part of my brain.

Valerie Friedlander 35:07
Yeah, oh, that’s good. And, and actually, what you said really reminds me I did a podcast interview with Krishna a little bit ago where we talked about creativity and tapping into that and doing something just because yeah, and I remember my mom, when I was young, talking about doing something that that you weren’t good at, or doing something that was counter to what you would normally do. Just to shake it up a little bit, you know, if you’re somebody who always wears makeup, go out without makeup on right, like, yeah, do something that changes the dynamics that you’re used to, so that you experience things a little bit differently,

Taina Brown 35:49
yeah, yeah, it’s stretching those growth edges, right?

Valerie Friedlander 35:52
Yeah,

Taina Brown 35:53
Yeah. Your mom is a wise woman.

Valerie Friedlander 35:55
She is. I was very blessed in her… she was doing a lot of learning, but I think, you know, to all the moms out there who are doing learning, who are listening and looking to grow, I think it’s important to remember that it’s not about being perfect. It’s about being willing to speak to doing something different and questioning. That you know, when you start to embody curiosity,

Taina Brown 36:20
Yeah.

Valerie Friedlander 36:20
it has an impact in how your children feel that is accessible and continues to be accessible, because you’re so right about the as you get older, those things that we just start to take for granted, that idea that we have to reach for our potential, and what that looks like, right? Because I thought the potential was the box that we talked about at the very beginning of the episode.

Taina Brown 36:44
Absolutely.

Valerie Friedlander 36:45
Yeah, right, that that was reaching my potential, not like asking questions and being curious and expansive. So, yeah, I think that’s important.

Taina Brown 36:53
It is, and it helps you be curious about the world and people too, right? Like there are people that I don’t want to be friends with, but my curiosity is like, what would make them be this way? What’s their backstory? And that helps develop empathy? You know?

Valerie Friedlander 37:13
Yes, absolutely, it’s a core component. So as far as getting to know people. Where can people get to know more about you?

Taina Brown 37:23
Yeah, so you can find me mostly on Instagram. I’m on Instagram far too often than I’d like to admit, but as a true, true millennial, so my instagram handle is my name, so it’s at Taina dot. M like Mary dot, brown, like the color. And so my the way you spell, my name is T, A, I N, A, like that Nickelodeon show that was around for like one season, way back when, for all my Millennials out there. You know what I’m talking about. And then I’m also on LinkedIn, and it’s just Tina and brown, no dots in between my name or the middle initial. And then you can also just find me at my website, where there’s more information about what I do and how I support people, and there’s a free guide on how to live a really values aligned life when you go to my website and sign up for my email list, and that’s TainaMBrown.com so everywhere is a variation of my name, everywhere you can find me. So you can just Google Taina M Brown and all those things will pop up.

Valerie Friedlander 38:27
Gotta keep it simple,

Taina Brown 38:29
Yes.

Valerie Friedlander 38:29
And I will have links in the show notes, so y’all can actually just even go click and check it out.

Taina Brown 38:38
Yeah.

Valerie Friedlander 38:38
So as my final wrap up question for the unlimited playlist, What song do you listen to when you want to access that unlimited feeling?

Taina Brown 38:49
Yeah, so there’s actually a song that I came across. And I remember when we talked about this initially, I was like, oh, it’s going to be so hard to pick just one song, because I like to create playlists that, like, hype me up. And it’s something that I encourage my clients to do also, especially if they’re, like, getting ready for a job interview or for a presentation, like, create a hype playlist to just kind of get yourself hyped up. Be your own hype person. But there is one song that’s completely random that I came across a TV show on Netflix, the chilling Adventures of Sabrina. And if you’re familiar with that show at all, it’s one of my favorites. So campy, I love it. But this song is called a little wicked by Valerie Broussard. I think it’s how you pronounce her last name. And I don’t listen to it often, but I do have it like on a Halloween playlist that I listen to every year, and every time it comes on, I’m just like, Oh, this feels so delicious, so delicious because there’s a line in the song that says something about, like, No one calls you trouble, or no one basically the the premise is like, when you’re. On a throne, like people don’t mess with you, right? Like they know not to mess with you. And so when I listen to that song, I’m just like, yes, my power, my power. And like I have my own throne, you know, like I have my own sense of, like, power and agency and and whatnot. And so it just… Yeah, it feels very, very delicious when I listen to that song. So, yeah, A Little Wicked By Valerie Broussard,

Valerie Friedlander 40:26
Awesome. Well, I will put it on the playlist so everybody can go check it out there. And also, as a reminder to everyone listening, if you’re not on my email list, be sure to get on there, because Taina is going to share a couple extra tips that I’ll be sending out to y’all. So check that out. And thank you so much for joining me for this conversation. It’s been awesome.

Taina Brown 40:53
Yes, it’s been great. Thank you so much, Valerie.

Valerie Friedlander 40:55
Thanks for listening. I so appreciate you being here. If you got something out of today’s episode, please share it, leave me a review, take a screenshot and post it on social with a shout out to me. Send it to a friend or, you know, all of the above. Want to hang out more, join me on Instagram, or, better yet, get on my mailing list to make sure you don’t miss out on anything. And remember your possibilities are as unlimited as you are, allow yourself to shine, my friend, the world needs your light. See you next time you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai