Stop Being Nice and Start Being Resilient

We need to stop being nice and start being resilient. Hurt feelings happen but we’ve been trained to avoid them, rather than how to process and deal with them in a productive way. This leads to codependent behaviors on an individual level and feeds problematic power dynamics on a societal level. Corporate culture etiquette emphasizes the unconscious expectations on women to manage other people’s (especially men’s) emotional comfort. These expectations are often deeply internalized and keep us playing small as well as often lead us to perpetuate dysfunctional and harmful norms.  It is critical that we learn how to process our own emotions so we can show up with graceful resilience to support our ability to play fully in the world and create change in these problematic patterns.
 

In this episode of Unlimited, I share my own experience of being told to “Google tact,” how I contributed to this dynamic during my time in corporate, and my insights now as a coach supporting emotional intelligence.

Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:

  • Corporate tone policing supporting success in a toxic structure
  • Deconstructing identity stories that perpetuate problematic systems
  • The importance of engaging emotions
  • Allowing space for self-growth through discomfort
  • The problem with the Golden Rule


Thank you for listening!
 
There is so much more to this topic and I feel called to some deeper explorations within it. Possibly to share in a longer written format down the road… so…

Do you have a story that relates to this topic? I’d love for you to share it with me!

Please email it to me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram @unlimitedcoachval
 
Of course, if you enjoyed this episode, please share it!
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