The courage to change comes from inside of you but requires and deserves support from others. You need other people to help you see and hear yourself clearly as well as to see more clearly what needs to change. This is especially true the easier it is for you to fit into and follow the conventional rules of society. One of those rules being that we’re supposed to be fully self-reliant. If you are not it indicates weakness and deficiency. Change is inherently stressful, and this rule blocks us from the most important resource for stress resilience – each other. This is one of the many dynamics that increases our need for courage to change. Add on that our society exploits vulnerabilities for profit and it naturally feels even more dangerous to ask for help. Unfortunately, social rules like this get wrapped up in our identity and become internalized rules, which serve as a wedge between you and your intuition.
In this episode of Unlimited, I explore the dynamics that create the need for courage to change the rules and free yourself from ones you’ve internalized.
Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:
- Pros and cons of having rules
- The value of those “negative” emotions
- Toxic individualism and codependency
- Reframing internalized rules
- Giving space for grief and celebration
LINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:
Alok Vaid-Menon Website
Alok’s quoted IG post
How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community
Courage to Change Al-anon book
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
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