Posts by Valerie Friedlander

What to do when you’ve fallen behind isn’t push yourself harder. It’s pause and allow yourself to recalibrate. Understandably, you may experience resistance. We are surrounded by stories that tell us that failing to plan for all the things is a personal failing. Additionally, there’s a constant message that we aren’t doing enough. This conditioning…

The pressure to love your job is something you’ve likely experienced whether you love your job or not. In the United States, we are surrounded by the story that you achieve success through having a job you love. Perhaps success is simply that you enjoy the privilege of doing a job you love. Another possibility…

WHY work life balance is a myth is as important to understand as knowing that it is one. It’s important because the way a topic is framed has a large impact on how we think about it. Framing directs our focus and influences the options we perceive. Most people I speak with consciously know there…

A simple way to end the year strong involves allowing yourself a little space for three activities. First, focusing your attention. Second, celebrating your accomplishments. Third, assessing what worked and what didn’t and feeding that into your new years plans. Sounds simple, right? Yes, it’s a simple outline, but the practice of it is less…

How to say no without guilt is a common struggle for Moms but also for most highly empathetic people. The fear of letting people down or upsetting others can make saying no extremely uncomfortable. You may worry about hurting someone. That worry may feed a fear that you will then be seen as uncaring, lazy,…

Setting healthy boundaries is a process that improves with practice. Part of the challenge of setting boundaries is that most of us didn’t grow up with examples of healthy boundaries. Additionally, the media often idolize emmeshed relationships. Consider how many songs and stories idealize relationships where someone’s emotional wellbeing is dependent on one other person.…

Dealing with impostor syndrome is a topic commonly and historically focused on working women. Most women have experienced the feelings of self-doubt and fear of not being good enough despite their accomplishments. Of course, working women aren’t the only ones who experience self-doubt. So, why are we the focus for this topic? We are social…

Silencing your inner critic can help you start to get out of your own way but there’s a more effective way. Using the silencing technique is only a temporary solution for two key reasons: First, it fails to address why the inner critic showed up. Second, it means you’re spending energy fighting yourself instead of…

Become empowered by your emotions, rather than stuck in them, by understanding their purpose or lack thereof. It’s important to remember that though “feelings aren’t facts,” they still matter. They are an intrinsic part of our whole humanness. Supporting emotional wellbeing starts with embracing the value of emotional information. Despite some of that information being…

To emotional awareness and, beyond that, to USING that awareness is this week’s topic. As we explored last week, you must first find the emotions and allow space for them. Following that, you can learn how to use them in a helpful rather than harmful way. This is also called being responsive rather than reactive…